A Photographer's Journal - December 2017

If this is my journal, what was I writing before? Truth be told, this is an inspired avenue of new writing which I'm exploring. Jeffery Saddoris, podcast co-host on On Taking Pictures and life long creative artist, regularly shares updates titled "Iterations", in which he discusses his current thoughts on topics surrounding his life, such as art and photography, inspiration, struggles he's going through and so on.

The fact is that I adore the process of writing. While I do write the occasional technical or gear related article, the writing I most enjoy comes from the process of life itself as a photographer, and what better way than to actually write about it here on my blog. However frequent of infrequent these writings, they will all be contained under the Journal category from now on.

My last video is two weeks old as I sit here. That's not to say I haven't attempted to create anything new, but to be one hundred percent honest, this is the season where I struggle living in Brisbane. It's the season that sucks out the joy of everything I hold dearly as a photographer, especially on the topic of landscape photography. I fail more often, and that makes me frustrated, because I know I'm capable.

It wasn't until this summer that I begun to try to work through it, accept how it makes me feel and work on what I can to get me to the other side. It's a situational problem for me. One of the activities that makes me feel joy becomes almost impossible without camping right next to my location. The sun is awake at 4:00am, rising shortly after, lighting up the land like a high key fashion studio and turning on the heating lamps to maximum. While it's great beach weather, it's awful landscape photography and hiking weather. The visual aspect of my life becomes awash in hot, arid sunlight.

Even my friendly, optimistic, and problem solving demeanour struggles to maintain composure when given the choice to grumble with gusto. So what am I trying to do in the meantime?

Look ahead.

Something I am learning to do when in a creative slump like this is to work on my plans for when that day or month comes that I can return to being myself. In less than two months I will be trekking through the beautiful (hopefully sunny) mountains of New Zealand's South Island, driving across the landscapes and experiencing sunrises and peaks the likes of which I will never see in my home of Queensland.

That is the optimist in me pulling myself kicking and screaming through my most unloved season of Brisbane living. On the other hand, fitness seems to have taken over, which helps to keep me level. I'm running again, only short 20 minute jogs, but running nonetheless. The warmth often fires me up to work hard physically, and I'm embracing that challenge.

Hard work to achieve goals, whether physical or mental, seems to be a motif of late. Laziness has almost become something to be laughed at now. I'm 30. I have a lot I want to do. The last thing in my control is doing it.

I spent so long giving myself excuses not to kick my long held goals and now that I have begun to, I feel a great sense of motivation to keep kicking harder and higher.